In the course of interviewing a number of people over the years for various jobs I have clung to a number of questions that are staples within my schema. The first question is one that typically comes after a slew of serious, though provoking questions. Its purpose serves the judge the persons ability to think on their feet with “out of the box” questions. It also serves as a potential insight into how a person views their self. The question is quite simply “If you were a Super Hero what would your super powers be and what would your Kryptonite be?”
I have heard a numerous answers ranging from the eloquent and beautiful to the comic equivalent of the wonder twins brother Zan. While the super hero question serves as a fun lighthearted question, other questions serve as a more poignant question to evaluate potential truthfulness. Here are a list of my favorite questions:
“What do you not do well?” (I usually don’t except answers like “I work too hard, so I dont know how to quit.” I will relentlessly rack the person until the give up what they dont do well as it relates to the job”
“What is your biggest opportunity for growth?” (i.e. another question to get at the flaws of a person)
“What do you hate about your previous or current job?” (answers that are too forward provide potential issues later on)
“If you could do anything and not have to work, what would you do?”
And last my most favorite question if I am planning on hiring the person: “What motivates you?”
It is always fun to find out what motivates a person. Some people say things like “Free coffee!” or “Chocolate.” or “Money!” while these are fun and true, I like to probe deeper to see what, at the core of the person, motivates them do perform better, enjoy their job more, and invest in the team.
If someone had asked me that question throughout the course of my life, it would have changed. At one point I might have stated that I am motivated by the opportunity to be invested in something bigger than myself. Other times I might have stated a reciprocating investment in my own personal development from the people around me as I invest in them. And in my current job I would say it is the opportunity to see those around me take joy in their job and grow.
During college I took a course called Experiential learning. It served as a way to teach people through experiences. The course looked at team building games, ropes courses, and experiential learning initiatives as means to help a person learn and develop. Often through the course of the initiatives and learning elements motives and motivators became quite clear. As a facilitator of those elements, you then had the freedom to assist in that persons learning through removing motivators or adding new ones.
At the end of the class we took a 3 day retreat as a class to a ropes course. As an experienced rock climber and alpha male who is afraid only of commitment (the kind with the padded walls and white jackets, what else did you think?), I was afraid of nothing and motivated by “helping others in their weakness.” I took risks, acted like a servant to my teammates who needed me, and generally didnt let my teammates help me.
As we got to the end of the three days we approached an element that I found to be trivial and quaint. It is called the “Pamper Pole.” In essence you climb up a telephone pole while attached to a safety belay. Once you get to the top you have to jump off the top of the pole to grab a bar about 5 feet in front of you. So, in short you are jumping off a round, wobbling, 1 ft in diameter pole into the air to grab a suspended bar hanging some 30 ft off the ground. If you miss, you are caught by your belay rope and gently brought to the ground. If you successfully grab the pole, the team cheers and everyone encourages you on your accomplishment.
As a team we each went up the pole. For some people the fear alone of climbing the pole meant just getting to the top was a success. Its funny how in life we expect everyone to be the same. Yet, for some people they have difficulties and fears that mean just climbing a proverbial 30 ft pole is a success. I found myself with my classmates that has such fear of heights that it didnt matter if they succeeded or not, the pure fact they approached their fears meant everything.
For some classmates they chose to climb the pole blindfolded and allow the team to guide them and direct them. While they didn’t have a fear of heights, they verbalized that they need to learn to trust people. By being blindfolded it forced them to trust their team and realize that the team was their support.
Some people simply wanted constant encouragement from the team. Others needed silence. One team member actually allowed the team to choose how they approached the pamper pole. I was so impressed by this persons ability to abdicate control and allow others, how had spent an entire semester seeing each others weaknesses and strengths, choose the method of approach to the event that I duplicated the question.
When it got to be my turn to go, I asked my team what they felt would best challenge me on the pamper pole. I wasn’t afraid of heights, I loved being in a harness and had complete trust and jumping off tall objects seemed like fun. One of my friends looked at me and suggested “You should do it, blind, deaf and mute.” I felt that while she was at it she might as well throw in that I couldn’t use my arms and had to catch the pole with my teeth.
Though, being the alpha male I was, I gladly accepted the challenge. In short what that meant was, I couldn’t talk to anyone until I got on the ground, they couldn’t talk to me, and I was blindfolded. This meant if I was facing the wrong way at the top, they couldn’t tell me. I also couldn’t ask for help.
Once I dawned my blindfolded everything went silent. I oriented my self on the pole, visualized where I was and what I needed to do to succeed and started climbing. Since I had spent years prior rock climbing, I scaled the pole fairly quickly. I got to the top and slowly stood up making sure that I was facing the right direction and that my feet were firmly planted. The wind was a gentle breeze and even without a blindfold I could tell the earth looked beautiful from 30ft up.
I took a deep breath and jumped…
My arms were out stretched and ready at a moment notice to grab a bar or anything else I felt my hands touch. In an instant I felt the bar and quickly tightened my grip. As I was mute, I couldn’t say anything. As I was deaf, my teammates couldn’t cheer. I hung there for a few seconds in proud glory. I had achieved success by overcoming all obstacles. I was blind, deaf, and mute and still succeeded where others had failed.
I was then gently lowered to the ground and the facilitator lead me a few feet away before taking off my blindfold. By the time I took off my blindfold the next person was being briefed on the pamper pole.
I was shocked. No one congratulated me. One one made eye contact. It was as if by succeeding I was essentially removed from the group. No one asked me if I did it. No one even cared. I suddenly felt my heart drop and I had never felt more alone in my life. After everyone had finished the pamper pole we debriefed the weekend. I sat silent and alone, realizing that my great moment of glory meant nothing to my team mates.
I actually cried as I drove home. Here were friends, classmates, and fellow “experiential learners” and no one cared about me. No one celebrated my win. No one even asked…
It was the end of the semester and no one talked about my display of awesomeness on the pamper pole. No one. I sat on a picnic bench during finals week as a classmate came and sat down next to me. We had bonded a little at the retreat as we saw each others weaknesses and helped each other through them. I explained to her that I felt alone and like no one cared. The very next words out of her mouth shattered the ice “Bryce, what happened?” Didn’t she know? She was there. She was standing on the ground watching, right?
Well, she didnt know. I finally reciprocated the question “Why, what happened with you guys?” She told me about how the moment I was blindfolded the professor had the entire team turn around and walk away. They were told that they couldn’t ask me what happened and had to wait for me to say anything. They were only allowed to come back once I was done.
I was broken. My world came crashing down. It wasn’t that they didn’t care, it was that they didn’t know. At that moment my entire world began to spin. I started analyzing everything, the whole semester, my whole life, the pamper pole, everything. I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach and walked away.
It was in that moment of complete chaos that I realized a few very important things about life and myself.
There are those of us that can “do it all” when it comes to a myriad of activities. I didn’t need my teammates help, but by not allowing them to help I didn’t allow them to take part in my success. In order for a team to be a team, everyone must be a part of the successes and failures, even in little ways. But when we try to pretend we are “Superman” and can do it all on our own, we exclude others from even taking joy in our success. We say “I don’t need you and since I don’t need you, I don’t want you.”
By choosing to be Superman and do it all by myself, I was the only one who took part in my victory. I wanted so badly for my teammates to see how “Awesome” I was, but instead what they saw was how little they were needed.
For many of us the Pamper Pole looks different in life. It can be our Job, our relationships, our hobbies, etc. We figure that since we can do it on our own we don’t need another persons help. It is like a son asking his father if he can help with fixing the car, or the plumbing, or putting a shelf up. In reality, the Father doesn’t need the sons help. But the father still allows the son to help because in helping his father, the son finds value. Sometimes taking someone else’s help means humbling yourself, like being willing to listen to the wife who tells you you’re lost and should ask for directions. We don’t always have to be Superman and prove to everyone how strong we are. Sometimes it is admitting we need people that becomes the very part of us that makes us human.
Whenever I am asked about what motivates me, this story comes to mind. I realized that people taking part in my successes and failures is what motivates me. I love having people pour into my life and want to join with me in a project or goal. I hate doing stuff alone (I do love being alone to recharge though). I want what I am doing to excite others, to motivate them, and to want them to be a part of it. I am motivated by having other people “buy-in” to my vision. Or by being a part of a team that has a great vision.
I want to stand on top of the Pamper Pole and jump, not because I am superman and awesome, but because I know the people below are taking part in my success. I want to have that moment when my feet hit the ground to be filled with joy, knowing that as my team was there for me, so I too will be there for them after they have jumped.
Life is not about whether or not you successfully grab the bar on the Pamper Pole. Life is about who is there to celebrate and encourage you once your feet hit the ground.
